12 Unconventional Films About Love and Self Discovery.
A Valentine's Day Movie List that will actually make you feel something.
Cinema to me is a love language. I think that the relationship between the viewer and the art is romantic in it’s own right.
I love how films make me feel; the way I feel after leaving a theater, or watching something with someone I love. The way the score or cinematography makes me feel inside, or the themes I pick up along the way. To me, movies are filled with love.
I’ve crafted this list with love and intention, to consciously make you feel something deeper. Whether it’s sticky and troubled, or beautiful and peaceful - this little list will make you explore yourself further.
Grab a loved one, or enjoy a solo night in.
Enjoy you lil’ cinephiles.
Before Sunrise - 1995
My favorite from the list and the first film of a three part trilogy shot in real time over a span of 20 years. We follow Jesse and Celine on a whirlwind meet cute set in Vienna. Their one night together provokes deep internal exploration and growth- examining the aspect of how fleeting time really is.
Themes:
The Fleeting Nature of Time, Self Discovery, Love and Post Modern Romance.
Why I love this film:
To me this film is so thought provoking, romantic and makes you really question how time, distance, lifestyle and timing really play a role in how our lives truly unfold.
Vienna and the setting really play a role in how we feel about the characters, their love story and how fleeting time actually is for these two young love birds. The city and landscape are just as big of characters as Jesse and Celine are.
The colors, music, costume, setting are so romantic and simple to me.
Celine’s perspective on life is so inspiring and deep, allowing us to take so much wisdom from her outlook on love and life.
Breathless (À bout De Souffle) - 1960
When I first watched this movie in film school, I thought about it everyday for months. A Godard French New Fave film starring Jean-Paul Belmondo and Jean Seberg set in Paris and Marseille France. Known for it’s bold new style of filmmaking, the jump cuts and editing style really steal the show in this film. We follow Michel a dangerous criminal (who obsessively idolizes Humphrey Bogart), and his American love interest Patricia.
Themes:
Games of Love, Alienation, Crime, Psychology.
Why I love this film:
French New Wave is so romantic to me in general. As well as Paris and Marseilles. The 60s feel, the editing style and the setting really make for a passionate game of cat and mouse.
It shows the complexity of emotions and “love” - showing that betrayal, hate, love, admiration can all be factors in relationships that we sometimes don’t love to admit.
Some amazing one liners and shots that make you feel very human. It shows that life itself and the mundane small moments have plenty of lessons and meaning in them.
Crazed Fruit - 1956
This film is slow and soft, letting you enjoy human connection and love in all of it’s forms. Filmed in the 50s in Japan, you could say this is a coming age film about two brothers falling in love with the same woman. It explores the complexity of young love and lust.
Themes:
Post War, Young Love, Generational and Cultural differences.
Why I love this film:
For the times, this movie challenged generational and cultural differences and exposed a lot of the repressed youth of Japan post war.
The black and white feel and cinematography is soft, beautiful and sexy.
I love watching old films and just staring at the architecture and landscapes from an untouched time.
This film will get you thinking about history and how similar films today still embody some of these themes around young love.
In the Mood for Love - 2000
Seductive and Forbidden, set in 1960s Hong Kong, two neighbors bond over the affairs of both of their spouses. This film explores unspoken feelings and human urges that can form surprisingly out of nowhere.
Themes:
Unspoken love, Forbidden love, What if, Love and longing.
Why I love this film:
SEXY SEXY SEXY. If you only watch this film for the costume, cinematography and colors you will be extremely inspired and happy.
The crowded apartment building becomes a main character - showcasing what it was like in 1960s Hong Kong.
We can all relate to unspoken feelings or words we wish we could say or act on. This film explores the deep longing of “what ifs”.
Paris, Texas - 1984
What is love without loss. Paris, Texas follows Travis Henderson on his journey of self discovery and reconnection with society and his family. This film explores the human experience in a way that you won’t understand until you watch. Also, anything Wim Wenders is going to be beautifully shot.
Themes:
Search for belonging, Alienation, Loss and Forgiveness
Why I love this film:
THE COLORS. The deep color palette is everything to me.
Can we love those who have hurt us? It explores the way even though we all have families, loved ones, and friends we essentially are on our own journey of self discovery.
Who doesn’t love a redemption story.
Portrait of a Lady on Fire - 2019
A love story set in the 18th century about Marianne, a painter, and the aristocratic Heloïse, whose pre-wedding portrait she has been commissioned to paint. Heloïse, unwilling to marry, has consistently refused to sit – so Marianne paints her secretly, having been introduced as a hired companion. This film really explores the fact that true love and yearning has no physical bounds.
Themes:
Female Gaze, Forbidden Love, Self Discovery.
Why I love this film:
Who doesn’t love a movie with a major female gaze arc. This film is so beautifully done although it’s not a jam packed action movie, the tension between the two characters is enough vibes for this to be one of the most memorable films you’ll see.
Love can transmute any physical or societal rules we put on it. Love is love, no matter the gender.
Costume design is chefs kiss!!
Mississipi Masala - 1991
I haven’t watched this one yet, but it’s been on my list!! Here’s what I know about it from Criterion Channel.
“The vibrant cultures of India, Uganda, and the American South come together in Mira Nair’s Mississippi Masala, a luminous look at the complexities of love in the modern melting pot.Tackling thorny issues of racism, colorism, culture clash, and displacement with bighearted humor and keen insight, Nair serves up a sweet, sexy, and deeply satisfying celebration of love’s power.”
Themes:
Belonging, Home, Race and Culture, Love.
Companion - 2025
Someone on letterboxed said “the men are gonna hate this one”, and “terminator for the girls and gays”. I left the theater thinking WOW, is this the definition of love for most men? The story follows a “companion bot” as she revolts against her owner in a bloody, horror weekend away in the woods.
Themes:
Consciousness, Abuse and Manipulation, “Love”
Why I loved this film:
The plot and themes of this film will have you thinking about it for days after you leave the theater. It really made me explore the ways in which people write off manipulation, abuse tactics and control as “love”.
The ACTING IS INSANE.
Love the typography and credits font too. Pink is so in right now.
The Graduate - 1967
Not necessarily a love story, but still explores human connection romantically and platonically. Benjamin (Dustin Hoffman), a recent college graduate is back at home where he is seduced by a friend of his parents. This film explores power dynamics and the struggle of growing up.
Themes:
Rebellion, Coming of Age, Identity, Sexual Awakening.
Why I love this film:
You’ll finally understand the meaning behind the song “Mr.s Robinson” by Simon & Garfunkel.
We can all relate to the after college feeling of accomplishment yet full identity crisis; this film does a really good job at getting us to feel all the motives of each character.
I still think about this film years after watching it. Fun fact my mom actually got married in the same church.
Past Lives - 2023
Have you ever wondered what if? This film follows two childhood friends who lost touch as they reconnect for a week in their busy adult lives. This movie made me feel so much, especially spiritually thinking about how deep our connections run between each other. Past Lives explores the opportunity to see if things really worked out as they should have.
Themes:
Love, Fate, Identity, Divine Timing and Spirituality
Why I loved this film:
Anything with Greta Lee is a YES FOR ME.
I’ve always loved exploring past lives connections and the deep knowing that we know someone from somewhere, but maybe we can’t put our finger on it.
This film plays around with fate and timing, which really gets you thinking on life and how it unfolds.
Lost in Translation - 2003
One of my favorite films of all time, a beautiful story of the intimate connections that can form during isolation, and loneliness. This film follows Bill Murray and Scar Jo as they navigate the crowded city of Tokyo, Japan as two lost Americans.
Themes:
Isolation, Loneliness, Connection, Trust, Intimacy.
Why I love this film:
A Sophia Coppola film set in Japan - SOLD.
I love exploring themes of isolation - because we realize that there is always a beautiful underlying connection that forms from deep loneliness.
I really enjoy seeing unlikely bonds form on screen.
The cinematography and color grading of this film is absolutely perfect.
All of Us Strangers - 2023
This movie was one of the best films I’ve seen. It was filled with grief, love, loss, joy, - I felt so many emotions. We follow two young men as they navigate love during immense times of grief, trauma and addiction.
Themes:
Inner Child Healing, Grief, Trauma, Love, Nostalgia, Coming to terms with the past.
Why I loved this film:
Tears, expect many tears. It made me feel so deeply - mixing an element of grief, trauma and love.
Inner child healing - this film is about being truly loved and seen for who we are. Who can’t relate to that?